Meet the Cats
Norman
Norman, the late Mother of the House of Schmoo, wasn’t just a cat—he was a felinenomenon. With a hunger for the spotlight that could rival a black hole, Norman didn’t just break into the modeling world; he shredded it like an unattended couch. His look was devastating, his poses legendary, and his purr a siren song of unrivaled success. His ferocious appetite for attention made him a star, while his aggressive ambition broke barriers and redefined what it meant to be an icon. Yet behind his piercing exterior lay a heart so tender it could disarm even the fiercest critics. Norman’s legacy isn’t just one of glamour and grit—it’s a glittering roadmap for those who dare to dream big and nap even bigger.
Babs Johnson
Norman’s baby sister and rightful heiress to the Schmoo throne, Babs is a catastrophe you never saw coming but can’t look away from. Equal parts honey and hurricane, she’s a tender-hearted diva who can purr you into a trance and shatter your ego with a single, smoldering glance. Norman’s lifelong rival, Babs was the source of his greatest jealousy and deepest pride. With a charm that melts hearts and a glare that can obliterate egos, Babs doesn’t just rule the runway; she owns it. She’s not walking in Norman’s pawprints—she’s prancing in them, leaving trails of fabulousness and filth in her wake.
Maplethorpe
Maplethorpe, the youngest and most dangerous addition to the House of Schmoo, is a living masterpiece still under construction. Equal parts mystery and mayhem, he’s a curious newcomer with a thirst for greatness and an ambition sharp enough to draw blood. His raw beauty is magnetic and his slightly feral energy is the wild card that keeps everyone guessing. Sure, he’s a little rough around the edges—think unpolished diamond meets a maddening abyss—but that’s part of his allure. Maplethorpe isn’t just joining the House; he’s plotting a hostile takeover, one sultry glance and ill-advised leap at a time.